...Chaotic Angel...
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...Chaotic Angel...

January 11th, 2014 | 11:03pm

Can't believe this still exists. I just suddenly remembered my login and password and read all my entries. Don't know what to say... floored. I am married now. I have moved across the country. I have traveled. I've experienced things that the girl that last posted here would never think of. I see those posts where I was so lonely and scared and want to reach out back in time to tell that girl it will be OK. You will find the man that loves you, all of you, and you will learn to love yourself as well. The people in your life that hurt you so much... well, you finally found the strength to say no, and walk away. You miss some people you lost touch with, and have gained caring, loving people as well. Life is still a struggle, and there are those amazing times and horrible times, but it's all worth it in the end. Here's to wonderful years to come.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

September 24th, 2005 | 10:06pm
Comp crash

My computer crashed a while ago, and I have it back now. Soo yeah. School and crap.

Current mood: cranky.

July 28th, 2005 | 5:16pm

Last night was Britt's last night here for a week and a half cuz she's goin to Georgia for softball games. Sooo we went out at like 4 in the morning and went skinny dipping at the beach. It was soo awesome!!! ..Well, except when someone walked by with a flashlight and shined it on our pile of clothes, and we freaked out thinkin it was a cop. But really it was just two guys lookin for a place to smoke pot..psshh. It was fun though, gotta do that again sometime soon!

Current mood: mischievous.

June 18th, 2005 | 11:50pm

I desperately need to go on a vacation some place far away from here right. now. In a month or so just isn't good enough..I need to leave now. I'm just so....scared? I want to be alone for a while.

Current mood: scared.

June 5th, 2005 | 3:32pm


??Which colour of Death is yours??
brought to you by Quizilla

Current mood: horny.

June 3rd, 2005 | 9:34pm
ohhhh hell yes

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:222
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Yeah, we all know Johnny Depp wants to fuck me for sure. xD

June 2nd, 2005 | 1:59pm
Off Meg's <3

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:FaerieNicoleOoO
Your haiku:on herself oh my
god she is the ultimate
male fantasy
Created by Grahame

May 31st, 2005 | 11:48pm

Ugh! I'm so pissed! Some spyware thing hacked into my AOL stuff, so I had to delete my screen names....which I've had for so many years. *Sniff*...well..uhm, I was gonna delete them anyway, but DAMN! Never thought it would finally happen to me after having the internet since I was like...11 years old, I think? I guess I should consider myself lucky, compared to other shit that's gone down with so many other people..

Help! - Does anyone know some good spyware blockers? Probably not. I hate computers. I'm so done.

Current mood: gloomy.

May 31st, 2005 | 1:02pm

I was out really late Sunday night with B and Branden ..just doin random stuff. After Branden left, we drove out pretty far north, and it was around 2 am when we got really tired, so we parked at an auto dealership and slept in her car. Branden flipped out..it was funny. It was kinda uncomfortable, but it was alright because she has a Lexus. I told my teacher about it this morning and he was all "You're gonna be such a hobo, Nicole." I'm still cracking up xD

Current mood: tired.

May 27th, 2005 | 12:51pm

I'm such a slacker.

Current mood: weird.

April 30th, 2005 | 8:15pm

If I were God over LiveJournal... by shinikami
Jesus would becelticgod
The four archangels would beafikitten666
The Blessed Virgin would bemonetcliche
Satan would besilence_broken
The antichrist would bealanskitty
And YOU would beDead
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Current mood: blah.

April 22nd, 2005 | 11:13pm
Stolen stolen survey

01. Last Cigarette: Never.
02. Last Kiss: Last night.
03. Last Cry: Two days ago.
04. Last Library Book Checked Out: Some Ancient Egyptian book
05. Last Movie Seen In a Theatre: The Interpreter...which was good.
06. Last Book Read: The egyptian book
07. Last Cuss Word Uttered: "fuck"
08. Last Beverage Drank: Cherry pepsi
09. Last Food Consumed: Honey Bunches of Oats cereal
11. Last TV Show Watched: umm...a documentary on druggies
13. Last Shoes Worn: Black heels with a leather strap around the ankle.
14. Last CD Played: Muse

15. Last Soda Drank: Cherry pepsi
16. Last Thing Written: "he romanticized it too much in his mind."
17. Last Words Spoken: "don't worry about it, I'll take care of it."
18. Last Sleep: Hmm...2 am lastnight
21. Last Ice Cream Eaten: Mint and chip :D
22. Last Time Wanting to Die: A few days ago.
24. Last Time Dancing: A few seconds ago xD
26. Last Big Car Ride: Last weekend when I went to Big Bear
27. Last Crush: Uhh...well, the crush turned into a boyfriend ^_~
28. Last Annoyance: This one strand of hair that was just way out of place.
39. Last Disappointment: Seeing my mom cry. The most awful thing ever.
30. Last Time Scolded: Hmmm...haven't been for a long time.
32. Last Web Site Visited: ebaumsworld.com

01. piercings = Only 2 so far
02. tattoos = 0
03. height = around 5'6"
04. shoe size = 7 and a half
05. hair color = blonde
06. siblings = 2 older sisters

01. movie you rented = Taking Lives
02. movie you bought = Garden State
03. person you've called= Branden
04. person that's called you= Brittany
06. person you were thinking of = My dad
07. friend you made = Rachel and Sasia.

01. you have a crush on someone = Nope.
02. you wish you could live somewhere else = Nope...maybe sometimes.
03. you think about suicide. = Ehhh! Now and then.
05. others find you attractive = er yeah
06. you want more piercings/which do you have? = I want my belly button and tongue. I have my ears.
07. you drink = Rarely.
08. you do illegal drugs = Never
09. you smoke = Never.
10. you like cleaning = Sometimes.
11. you like roller coasters = Hell yes.
12. you write in cursive or print= Print.

+ long distance relationships: Depends on the person. If they're committed, for.
+ suicide = against, unless you're dying.
+ killing people = against
+ driving drunk = against
+ soap operas = AGAINST

+ thing to do = go to the beach
+ thing to talk about = Random, thought provoking shit.
+ sports = Tennis, running stuffs
+ drinks = Pepsi, cranberry juice
+ clothes = Skirts and tank top-ish shirts
+ movies = Too many. Finding Neverland, Garden State, I like all kinds. Horror is pretty good.
+ holiday = Any one where I get money or presents. Halloween too cuz I can dress like a total slut and have an excuse for it...lol

+ ever cried over a girl/guy = Hmm!...Well, I haven't had one dump me, so not in that sense.
+ ever lied to somebody = Uh, yeah, everyone has.
+ ever been in a fist fight = eh..not really.
+ ever been arrested = Nope.

+ shampoo do you use = Tresemme
+ shoes do you wear = High heels or other random shoes.
+ are you scared of = Damn this question always gets me! I guess...my dad dying, or drowning in the ocean. Oh, and gorillas freak me out too xD lol

.. of times you have been in love? = Once.
.. of times you have had your heart broken = Never.
.. of girls you have kissed? = A few
.. of boys you have kissed? = Hell if I know.
.. of drugs taken illegally? = None.
.. of people you would classify as true, could trust with your life type friends? = At least 3.
.. of people you consider your enemies? = ehh.. no one, honestly.
.. of times your name has appeared in the newspaper? = Well..local stuff kind of a lot.
.. of scars on your body? = I was very clumsy when I was younger. Let's just leave it at that.
.. of things in your past that you regret? = Not a lot.

Current mood: horny.

April 8th, 2005 | 2:12pm

I am the Siren

A man is often secretly oppressed by the role he has to play - by always having to be responsible, in control, and rational. The Siren is the ultimate male fantasy figure because she offers a total release form the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a realm of pure pleasure. In a world where women are often too timid to project such an image, learn to take control of the male libido by embodying his fantasy.

Symbol: Water. The song of the Siren is liquid and enticing, and the Siren herself is fluid and ungraspable. Like the sea, the Siren lures you with the promise of infinite adventure and pleasure. Forgetting past and future, men follow her far out to sea, where they drown.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

Current mood: predatory.

March 30th, 2005 | 2:56pm

Nothin much going on lately. Hangin out with some new friends - Rachel, Laycee, stuff like that. They're alright. I've also been goin out with my sis Alannah a lot lately. She's changed so much..she's not so bitchy anymore haha. I love it. Life is alright.

Hooligan Bear
Hooligan Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Current mood: hopeful.

March 24th, 2005 | 3:12pm
Gotta love it...

From "Monty Python"

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the english language today, is the word fuck. Out of all the english words that begin with the letter 'f' ...fuck is the only word refered to as 'the f word'... It's the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in the english language is derived from german; the word fuieken, which means to strike.
In english, fuck falls into many grammatical categories:

As a transitive verb for intance ...John fucked Shirley.
As an intransitive verb...Shirley fucks.

Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as...

An adjective such as ...John's doing all the fucking work.
As part of an adverb ...Shirley talks too fucking much.
As an adverb enhancing an adjective ...Shirley is fucking beautiful.
As a noun ...I don't give a fuck.
As part of a word ...absofuckinglutely -or- infuckingcredible.
And as almost every word in a sentence ...Fuck the fucking fuckers.

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck...such as these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud ...I got fucked at the used car lot.
Dismay ...ahhh fuck it.
Trouble ...I guess I'm really fucked now.
Agression ...Don't fuck with me buddy.
Difficulty ...I don't understand this fucking question.
Inquiry ...Who the fuck was that?
Dissatisfaction ...I don't like what the fuck is going on here.
Incompetance ...He's a fuck-off.
Dismissal ...Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself...

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say - use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech!
It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly and proudly...
...fuck you!

Current mood: devious.

March 24th, 2005 | 2:48pm
Bitch - how it is...

Dead as dead can be, my doctor tells me
But I just can’t believe him
Ever the optimistic one
I’m sure of your ability
to become my perfect enemy
Wake up and face me
Don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say,
You disappoint me
Maybe you’re better off this way

Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become…my perfect enemy…

Wake up and face me
Don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say,
You disappoint me
Maybe you’re better off this way

Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
You’re better of this…you’re better off this…
Maybe you’re better off!

Wake up and face me
Don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say
You fucking disappoint me!
Maybe you’re better off this way

Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me!

Passive-aggressive bullshit...

Current mood: angry.

March 23rd, 2005 | 11:09am
Aw, crap

So..I finally left Aubrie and Cori (who are supposed to be 2 of my best friends) after I had a huge fight with them. Well, mostly a fight with Aubrie. She was talking shit behind my back, just like she did with her 5 previous best friends. I kept saying, "we're not kids anymore!" because she acts like one. Talking shit behind someone's back just seems so...junior high school to me. I hate drama, so I couldn't stand her anymore. It hurts to leave someone who was so close to me though. I'll get over it, this crap is just too emo for me. On the bright side, I've rekindled an old friendship, and made a lot of new friends. I'm also going to a Jimmy Eat World concert with my sisters, which should be interesting.

Current mood: indescribable.

February 28th, 2005 | 3:36pm

So, I tested positive for tuberculosis. That wasn't a very big surprise to me, because there's always gotta be something fucked up with my body. Of course, I had told my parents earlier - "Hey, that TB test is makin me feel funny about all this. I think I might have it." And they just totally disregarded it. Then, I come out of the doctor's office, and my mom's like "how did it go?" and I said "Well what do ya know, I. FUCKING. HAVE. TB!!!" and I swear, it looked like her eyes almost popped out of her head and she started crying. And crying. Oh, and crying some more. So, I felt pretty bad about that, so I hugged her and said "don't worry, I feel fine!" so she pauses a minute, looks at me, and starts sobbing again. Jesus! When will it all end!?

Current mood: shocked.

February 27th, 2005 | 7:34pm

God, the Oscar Awards are so boring. The only thing that is worthwhile to watch is when Orlando Bloom makes an appearance. Oooh yum ^_~

Current mood: devious.

February 20th, 2005 | 9:41pm

This has to be one of the most embarrassing stories I've ever read. I would kill myself if this ever happened to me.

"The Princess and the Pee"
During my junior year in high school, I had a part in a school play. My character was a fairy princess, and my costume was basically just glittery leotards. As with any leotards, I couldn't wear anything underneath them, and I'd have to pull the whole thing down to my ankles in order to use the restroom. Needless to say, this made bathroom breaks very awkward, so I'd usually try to drink as little as possible on performance days. Unfortunately, though, I broke my own rule at the worst possible time -- during the final performance. That last performance was "The Big Day" -- the day on which teachers, students, parents, siblings, and other family members would all be in attendance.
To celebrate the event, our theater teacher brought us cake and soft-drinks beforehand. And because I'm an idiot who can't resist free stuff, I ended up drinking several sodas shortly before the start of the play. While giving my performance, I could feel the pressure building in my bladder, but somehow I thought that I'd be able to hold it in until the end. By act 3, though, I was in serious pain, and I knew that I couldn't wait any longer. During a brief section in which my character wasn't on stage, I took the opportunity to hurry to the nearest bathroom...but it was occupied! At that point, I was a second away from peeing in my leotards. There was no way I could wait any longer, so I desperately began searching for an unoccupied room in which I could relieve myself. Just behind the stage, I found a small, dark, dusty storage room. In my desperation, it seemed like the perfect place for me. So I went into a corner and pulled my leotards down to my ankles. Before I could begin peeing, though, I realized that I was at risk of splashing urine on my costume, so I pulled my leotard off entirely, and tossed them onto a nearby chair. (I was now totally naked.) I thought I'd finally have a chance to pee, but before I could start, I heard someone approaching. It was my theater teacher, and he was saying, "Emily! Where the hell are you?! It's almost time for you to go back onstage!" It sounded like he was about to enter the room. At this point, my fear, my embarrassment, and the pain in my bladder had completely addled my thinking. Nearby, there was a door to what I thought was a closet. Somehow, I thought that I'd be able to hide in there until my teacher left. So I opened the door and rushed through...but it wasn't a closet. I was now ON THE STAGE! As soon as I saw the rows and rows of people staring at me, I completely froze, and my mind went blank. I could not move, or think, or even breathe. I didn't even have enough sense to run away or cover myself. I just stood there completely exposed, and I was vaguely aware of shocked gasps and murmurs coming from the audience. At that point, my poor bladder just couldn't take it any more, and I began peeing.

As I write this, I can feel a sense of numb horror as I remember that experience. Everyone was staring at me, and I was totally, totally, naked...with my own urine running uncontrollably down my legs. I could faintly hear someone in the audience saying, "Is she...pissing on herself? Oh my God, she is!" The gasps and murmurs became much louder. I don't really know what happened after that, because I fainted.

From then on, I was the laughing stock of the school.

Current mood: shocked.

February 19th, 2005 | 9:20am

a perfect circle is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

...and A Perfect Circle is my favorite band too <3

Current mood: grumpy.

February 16th, 2005 | 4:14pm
All the lonely people

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding
has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by
the door
Who is it for?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from ?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong ?

Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will
No one comes near.
Look at him working. Darning his socks in the night when there's
nobody there
What does he care?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from
the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Current mood: lonely.

February 15th, 2005 | 7:51pm

It's sad when your sister is driving on the freeway and she says "I'll stop the car if you don't smile" and you think... well, thank god I'll be killed immediately

Current mood: sad.

February 12th, 2005 | 12:27pm

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

....is it a wonder that the guy that wrote it commit suicide?

Current mood: depressed.

February 11th, 2005 | 8:59pm

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have major influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence but are still a general bad ass.

Taurus (April 23 - May 22) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamed communist.

Gemini (May 23 - June 22) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23 - July 22) You are sympathetic and
understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are a logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit.

Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Current mood: groggy.

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